Lagos!

As they entered the city via the Alausa-Magodo axis,you could see their pupils dilate at the well tarred roads of Alausa and wonderful mansions of Magodo and the MKO gardens.It was exactly what they had been told back in the village!

Lagos,the land of dreams.Where money not only grows on trees but the trees walked to your house,shaked their branches and the naira notes just fall on your laps.Where the god of fortune had so blessed people,that he turned them mad!
You can just feel the excitement in the air as they chat animatedly in their Ekenedilichukwu buses and cattle lorries about how they were not in Lagos to count bridges but for the real thing.

You drive by in your car or fly by in a bus driven by a drunk,near mad Ibadan man,shaking your head,knowing fully well that a large chunk of them would end up sleeping under those same bridges they did not come to count!
A city hot and stiffling like no other.
A city of half a million rich and 19 and half million wretched.
A city where if the stress does not kill you,the aboki motorcyclist would most certainly try.
True,the life is good on the Island and certain parts of the mainland.
True!
But they dont call it an Island for nothing,many sink trying to get there!
Lagos is not about the few making millions but the millions trying to make it.

As Nnamdi drops from his luxurious bus at Maza Maza,he knows there is something horribly wrong.Gone are the luxurious flats and well tarred roads.Welcome smelly gutters,crammed Danfos and half naked children rolling tyres.
As he hears the bus conductor shouting fervently"LASU,Iyana-Iba,two lucky yansh",he knows in his heart say he don enter one chance!

Yellow Card!

Try as we may to show national pride and insist on our decency as human beings,you and I know that the majority of Nigerians who reside outside the country are engaged in activities that would make their mothers shiver!
Little wonder the South African authorities about 3weeks ago decided to deport a few hundred Nigerians on the excuse of possession of dubious yellow cards.

Bloody Nigerians.And stay out!

The reaction in Nigeria was as expected filled with self righteous anger.
'Who do they think they are?'
'What do they mean?'
'If not for condition,can South Africa stand to Nigeria?'
And more bull shit in that line.
For those who dont know,a stamped yellow card means the holder has been duly vaccinated against yellow fever and other ailments.
For those who dont know,and for the majority of you that know,a yellow card can be stamped for 500 naira at any local government area office in Nigeria without as much as going there talk more of  receiving a vaccination.
So,instead of addressing our faults,we,in true Nigerian fashion,deported a roughly equal amount of South Africans.
I can just the imagine the blessed joy on the face of the South Africans on the day they were being deported;knowing fully well that at least 90% of them are in Nigeria because of work transfers and not out of any divine pleasure at witnessing the many fantastic tourist attractions that Birnin-Kebbi has to offer*Eyes rolling*.

A dancing South African on hearing of his deportation!

 
A truce was reached eventually,only God knows why.I would have gladly continued the exchange of deportees if I were in South Africa's shoes;Damn good looking shoes for that matter!
The United Kingdom deported a number of Nigerians about a week after the South African incident.
I guess we are still buying aviation fuel for the Arik Air flight that will deport British Nationals!*Eyes rolling once again*