GEJ on Amanpour!

2 nights ago,at about 9pm,dazed and in a drugged like trance from another hectic Lagos day;and no,Pierre from Vienna,what you guys call hectic in Austria is like getting a massage with a happy ending at your neighbourhood bordello compared to what we go through here;I stumbled into my apartment and met my T.V on,of course I must have forgotten to switch off the night before when the electric company cut me off;and no once again,Pierre from Vienna,I pay my bills,its just something they enjoying doing.
While trying to make myself a stiff drink to wake up my dulled senses,I could make out the faint outlines of a rather dull-looking gentleman in a bowler hat,blinking rapidly like a kid caught with his hand in a pot of stew;Hey Pierre,would you just let me finish!!!!!!!
Anyways,where was I?
Ahhh!
I moved closer to the television and lo and behold,it was Uncle Joey being interviewed on CNN by no less a person than Christiane Amanpour.

Been interviewed by Amanpour is like getting lucky with Kim K while Scarlet Johansson looks on.
I mean,its like a 'Yo men,we made it' moment.
I settled down on my craggy sofa,drink in hand and offered a silent prayer to the gods of  Otuoke,Bayelsa,for luck to be with the good uncle Jonah.
And you almost always need it.
On Amanpour,the questions are quick fire and intense.Your answers are expected to be same.Sharp,concise and at times witty.
Its not only a truth seeking exercise but also an intelligence assessing session.
And oh boy,slap me on the head and call me a Jonathan but did Uncle Ebele perform!
This thing called native intelligence,ehn!
At times his answers were precise and dead on like the decision to send troops to Mali and the country's fight against terrorism.
At other times....WOW.........I wondered if we were listening to the same questions.
It seemed he took a second to listen to the question,took another second to frame it in his mind just the way he would have wanted it asked ,then answered his own question.
I can just imagine Uncle Joe smiling to himself and thinking 'Is this Amanpour a learner?'
All in all,it was a fair outing,except when he said something about how electricity supply had improved considerably and how Nigerians can attest to it.

Then again,I'm told the weather is a -8 in Davos,Switzerland at this time.

Must'a been the cold!

I'll give him a 5 out of 10.
And they say I'm a biased critic!

Death and the stethoscope!

Nobody hears when the little man dies.
Even if it appears in the papers,it's usually stuck somewhere in between a disgusting picture of Cossy Orjiakor's morbid boobs and an irrelevant story about a Nigerian minister's(political or religious) son's private jet.
The little man's death is always treated as an afterthought.
That's why people can non-chalantly bat an eyelid and mutter 'it is well' when 30 people are massacred by a suicide bomber in Jos and shout hysterically from the roof top when a bigman and his dog fall from a helicopter.
A couple days ago,on the streets of Lagos,a young medical doctor's life was cut short by a mad man's bullet.
It's not a story that will catch the attention of those in power.
There will be no pretentious visits from the big men in Abuja.
No crocodile tears shed publicly by our number one man for a truly prominent life lost.
There will be no mention in the papers,at least not on the important pages.
Another little man has died and there will be appropriately little noise made.
The details are sketchy,as they always are in Nigeria,Irawo Adamolekun was shot in traffic around the Anthony Village axis of Lagos.

Unworthy end!

Broad daylight!
The daylight was so broad(if there's anything like that),you could probably see the glitter from Stella Oduah's(minister of aviation,in case ya dont know) jewelry filled neck from a mile a way.

I had this ruby piece before I got into office.I swear!

Shot point blank in the head from a robbery gone wrong.
The killer was then said to have calmy,like he had done nothing more important than take a piss on the sidewalk,crossed to the other side of the road and sped off on a waiting motorcycle.
And there I was thinking motorbikes were banned in Lagos!
Apart from been in the full glare of the Sun,it also happened in full view of hundreds of motorist,including Nigerian rapper Ruggedman;can you just change that name already bro!
One would think with a name like that,you'd come out guns blazing to apprehend the fellow,
Rugged my belly button!!!!!!!!!!
Lagos is a tough city.
Yeah we know!
But to be gunned down in public,on a busy high way?
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
Same fate befell young Dr James Obinyan on the streets of Festac in November 2011.
Shot dead in his car after a robbery attempt.

Life taken from someone so full of it.

Lives are been lost daily in this country.
Wasted.
Terrorists and robbers roam the streets like horny little whores.
Let our case not be like the young chick who wondered why the same master that had been feeding him all this while would now be leading him to slaughter,by asking where the police were when all this killings took place.
Probably peeping from a safe distance like you and I,that's where!!!!!!!!
I read a book once about how all events in the world are inevitably linked.
And it occured to me that the motorbike that served as a get-away for the killers of the young Doc some days back might have gone through a police checkpoint and the rider must have paid some cop somewhere 50naira to continue operating.
50naira(30 cents),the cost of a life in Nigeria!
Anyways,I spoke to the Sun yesterday and he told me he was seeing new things in Nigeria.
And you know what they say about that!