Friday, February 21, 2014

Sanusi Lamido ,NNPC,the camel and the straw!

Nobody does Nollywood like Pete Edochie and no one does Pete Edochie like Pete Edochie.
Wherever Oga Pete is right now he can rest assured that God has indeed reserved a mansion for him in Nollywood heaven.
And if his preference is an apartment building with 24 units of four bedroom apartments like those horrid ones in Onitsha,he can also rest assured that our God is able-as Joel Osteen says,our God is indeed modern and pliable.
But more importantly,may God bless you for two things;one,for that fantastically cultured beard you have.
Lesser men have tried to keep a goatee as fabulous and have failed.
Failed miserably I tell you.
And secondly,for all your proverbs.
A proper Pete Edochie movie is never complete without a couple of proverbs.
Relevant or otherwise.
Even if Kanayo.O Kanayo had just hung himself on a tree at the village square because yet another village maiden just jilted him(they all do that for a reason Kanayo.They all do!), only Oga Pete would stroll past,stare meanly and look up at the tree and mutter something utterly silly like "a tree cannot make a forest except Amadioha refuses to give other trees a chance"
True Legend!

So when I woke up early this morning to the news of Dr Goodluck.J finally wielding the big stick and suspending the Central Bank Governor,Sanusi Lamido Sanusi(we heard the first Sanusi bro,we ain't deaf), it was obvious a 20  billion dollar straw had indeed broken the camel's back!
Mr Sanusi had a great run as the Central Bank Governor since 2009.
Cleaning up a banking industry on the verge of collapse,bringing inflation under 10% and stopping the Intercontinental Oceanic's of this world from using our hard earned kobos to buy private jets for their sons,mistresses and pastors to throw not so private parties.
More importantly,he opened our eyes to how opaque (pronounced o-peik, opakwe is my grandmother's dog) our financial system in relation to the National Oil Corporation was,is and will probably continue being.
If reincarnation were a thing,I'd give a front tooth just to come back as a smoke detector.so I could compare the murkiness and fog in the accounting offices of the NNPC and Jesse Jagz's recording studio!
Oliver Khan,she's a keeper!(What a line!and they say doing drugs is bad for you.Silly mutts!)

The man was not only ruffling feathers,he was also attempting to pluck out the feathers completely.
And as my mum used to say,if you talk too much while plucking a chicken,the feathers only attach back pronto.
Was SLS a saint?
No one is!
He had his failings.
He was probably too dramatic for the office he held.
Probably too political to be objective.
And hang me by my feet and call me a piglet, a dress sense so bad it was almost a joke.
I hear the horse could not make it through his office door!

As Pete Edochie would say,every story has a moral and Sanusi Lamido must know by now that trying to throw a beam of light into the darkness of Nigerian corruption is as useless as M.I Abaga wearing flats at a Reinhard Bonke revival!
As of today,the double named man trying to expose the cesspit that is the NNPC has just had its content splashed on his face.
Your move Mr Sanusi Lamido Sanusi!

P.S : Pls follow the flipout corner on the twitter machine @doctorrotcod