Na for only warri!(your pidgin as to be passable to understand this one)

Na for only Warri where you go see two guys dey kpouns security guard for bank.When you ask them say wetin happen?One of them go talk say 'oh bobs,i no know,i just dey pass when i see this security dey beat my bros,no be say i wan fight cos as you see me so i no like wahala.i just say make i branch apply bottle for the guy head but as I apply the first one,gbim,
the guy no fall,i apply the second one,gboa,nothing happen,i come shook am,shook am everywhere,the guy no still gree,na that time i talk say i kuku wan fight!'
Na for only Warri where if person wan give you direction,the gist goes thus,'when you reach the next turning,the third house very close to Akpos mama house,you suppose know Akpos now?Akpos wey dey do oil bunkering!Okay!!!!!!!!!!!black Akpos?Uhn Uhn,no be black Akpos wey dey thief,dat one house still dey down the street!
N a for only Warri you go chop the sweetest peppered kpomo with cold beer,meet guys who can speak pidgin at a million words per minute,and laugh till your heart stops beating.
Na for only Warri!
P.S:this goes to the guys who took me to Warri for the first time in my life,Oniovu Bekibele One a.k.a Oghenepuffy,Omilinkus a.k.a Papi and the only Indian man to come from from Delta State,Abel a.k.a Acha Nehi Baba.
Hope you guys are doing well.Big ups!!!!!

theatre of dreams!

''When I grow up I want to be an aeronautical engineer!''Sounds familiar?Growing up that was the in-thing,everybody wanted to be an aeronautic engineer.Now I'm all grown and I'm wondering to myself,WHAT THE HELL IS AN AERONAUTIC ENGINEER?I mean,WHAT THE HELL DO THEY DO?We all had lofty dreams growing up........well I'm guessing we all did.I had a friend who's life ambition was to be a footballer,we all begged and pleaded with him but Akin refused to budge,I wonder who is laughing now?Actually he is,I saw the the bloke last Xmas and we cruised round town in his custom made 7series on our way to his house in Lekki........but that's a story for another day!
So what,if you had dreams of being a doctor and finding the cure to A.I.D.S and saving the world only to find yourself in one run down private hospital at Abule-Egba(No disrespect to my Abule-Egba peeps,ya'll know i love you!).
So what,if you wanted to work for NASA and..........i cant even think of a suitable comparison in naija!
So what,if you're stuck at a desk at some bank in Lagos doing an unbelievably boring and monotonous job.
So what,when you google your name the only thing that comes out is ADEDAYO ESAN IS ON FACEBOOK!
SO BLOODY WHAT!
Always be thankful for where and what you are in life cos there are a million people out there who are worse off than you.
P.S:REALLY,WHO THE HELL IS AN AERONAUTIC ENGINEER?

Trivia!

Jack annd Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after

Up Jack got and home did trot
As fast as he could caper
And went to bed to mend his head
With vinegar and brown paper

Jill came in and she did grin
To see his paper plaster
Mother vexed did whip her next
For causing Jack disaster

P.s:guess you never knew!