The Chinese are here!

This could definitely not have been the plan!
I can just imagine the founding fathers of our once great nation on their lofty chairs in heaven,hands in head,shaking in sheer horror as little dwarfish China men run around the streets of Lagos.
I doubt if there's a single Lagos resident who does not have an encounter with those slanty,beady eyed folks at least once a day.
Be they construction workers,Chinese restaurant owners,Tech company entrepreneurs,market men and women(check out the China town in Ojota,Lagos,them Chinese be selling tomato and pepper these days) or just your plain good for nothing lay-about.
There's an epidemic upon us and its made in China!
The first trickle of Chinese into Nigeria began about 10 years ago,at the tail end of the first term of  President OBJ's tenure.They were brought in to help with infrastructure development;roads,electricity,stadia,water works;not like they've done much now,have they?

Typical Nigerian Highway before the Chinese

After the Chinese.Spot the difference.The tyre looks smaller though!

And to be fair,it was not just a Nigerian idea.It was an African conception at the time.
Zambia,Uganda and Malawi all had their influx of the yellow people.
To also be fair to the Chinese community in Nigeria,they have also been a hell of a lot more docile,at least sexually,compared to their counterparts in other African countries.
The Chinese in Zambia!!!
Horny little critters!!
In less than a year of staying in Zambia,they were already fathering kids with the local women.
Chinese-Zambians!!!!!!!!!
Its not like the Zambians don't already have an ugly epidemic to contend with in the first place!
The economics of it seemed good at the time.At least our current crop of political leaders got this one right.
After spending the better part of 50 years under-educating and under-developing their own youth,they realised they had mechanical engineering graduates who couldn't spell engineering,talk more of building a bridge.
It just made absolute sense to endorse the mass importation of educated China kids to fill the technological gap.
The plan must have been to bring the workers in to serve under a Nigerian head but they forget or at least are ignorant of the fact that the China man serves nobody;a fact they would have known if only they had watched those goddamn Chinese films of the late 80's;wa sere Bruce Lee toh quality!

They have steadily grown in influence,from being the ones doing the dirt work to being fully in charge!
My first encounter with a Chinese restaurant was about 10 years ago in Benin City.It was then owned by a Nigerian who employed Chinese folks to do the cooking and menial work around the establishment.
The chef was a sly looking China man who spoke better pidgin English than i could possibly ever muster;after the meal got delayed for about 10 minutes,he came over to the table and his exact words were ''Guy,how far?Abeg no vex,the food go soon done"
That scared the shit out of me and should have been a pointer to the fact,even back then,that these Chinese were not here for jokes.
To be frank(I've never come to terms with why 'frank' was chosen,why not Steve or Charles),with the way things are being run in Africa as a whole,I wouldn't mind if we were recolonized by the Europeans or maybe even the South Africans;the white ones at least;but to be oppressed by Mr Wu Di Fuhk and his wife Mrs Wu Shi Be,its just to much for my oft stepped upon black pride.
So,as I sit in traffic,typing this post om my Ipad 3(more like a Techno 2580) while waiting for the Chinese traffic warden on Awolowo Way Ikeja to pass me.

I really don't care if you think I made this up!

 
I look up to the sky`and tell those wailing ex-presidents to weep no more for Nigeria and to respectfully relay same message via SMS to Gen Zanni Abalcha in hell!