Noah,The Ark and Lagos!

It was a slow month,that June.
Nothing exciting or remotely pulse-racingly cool happened in Nigeria.
Just your usual church bombings,multiple road accidents,thieving politicians,an hostage here,a kidnapping there.Give or take your usual Nigerian month.
What we did not bargain for though,was the rain.
Fook me,but did it rain like the tears from General Oladipo Diya's eyes when Abacha sentenced him to death back in the day.
By the way,I've been having a cat problem in my house this past weeks,dont know if its my neighbour's cats jumping over the fence to feed on my predictably rich dustbin or if it really did rain cats for once!

Dustbin wey make sense!

As usual,the rains fell and Lagos streets went to shit.Impassable waterways only meant for the Land Rover 2029 model,The Flying Rover.

I'm guessing he couldn't wait till 2029

I've never really understood the rationale behind building roads without making gutters;I've never really understood much of many other things either;but I can safely assume that our leaders must have missed the class on common sense.Why bother when you've achieved the required 75% attendance from making the classes on 'Embezzlement' and 'Acquired Idiocy'.
Admittedly though,the Babatunde 'I wish I was a doctor,that's why I like fooking them up' Fashola administration has made some improvements on that.
Roads are now been built with gutters that lead to no where.
A gutter should lead to other gutters that invariably link to a central canal or a water treatment facility.
In Lagos,the gutters lead right back on the road or on a poor house owner's property!

The poor house owner we spoke about.

I'm guessing the class must have clashed with Asiwaju's birthday.

Some things you miss,some things you dont!

And did Nepa have a blast!
It was like Christmas in June for them.
When I was younger,the lights only go off when the rain threatens to become a storm but these days,once there's a weather forecast with the possibility of rain the day before,Nepa takes the power a day before just to be safe.
And that takes me to the issue of weather forecasting;I honestly doubt if it's an actual science.I'm guessing it lies somewhere in between understanding women and mobile networks in Nigeria;YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!
I believe the news channels just pick the ugliest staff member and stick him/her with the weather detail.
I'll give a couple of Faroukas for anyone to tell me what the hell "slight precipitation with some winds and the possibility of sunshine" means?

Is it gonna rain or is the Sun gonna shine Ma?

Anyways,for those living in the Aguda,Surulere,Mile2,Lekki axis,I say keep your head up,that's if the head is still above water though.One day,we'll get a leader that had nothing better to do and finally attend the class on common sense.