Fa-Crook Lawan!

When the issue of the bribe scandal involving the Nigerian House of Representatives first came to light,my initial reaction was one of genuine disinterest.I had long grouped all of them under the same umbrella;rouges!

Miss?Can you identify the man that attacked you?They all look the same Officer!

But when the name of the individual allegedly involved came to the fore,I had to pause for breath!
You mean the skinny dude that talks like he's constipated all the time?Yep!My friend said.
Apparently,we all know why he seems to sound constipated always.Must be all the bribes he has allegedly been chowing on!Greedy little imp!
But unlike other Nigerians who have been quick to judge and disparage his character;including you;yep;you;who your father was made the assistant deputy aide to the special adviser to the special adviser of someone in government and all of a sudden you and your siblings are living it up like its the year 2060!
I,good old objective me,have decided to study the situation closely a.k.a sit on the fence.

Yep!That's me.

Not your typical European or American fence meant to just demarcate your property from your neighbours and also keep his randy teenage son from devouring your innocent daughter(yeah right),but a good old-fashioned Nigerian wall that's meant to keep out everything from your neighbour's goat to pesky family members,burglars,armed robbers,assassins and the occasional crashing plane!
Claims and counterclaims have been flying about in this rapidly evolving soap opera;Mr oil magnate claims to have laid the trap,Hon. Fa-Crook says otherwise.
The Nigerian Police has obviously taken sides with the oil importer;what's that saying about 'Na where man dey work man must chop'?
His fellow House of Reps members have decided to join me on the fence and save their own necks;this fence is getting a bit crowded fellas.Hon. Tambauwal,do you mind adjusting a bit?Thank you!
And the presidency......well..........they set this whole production rolling in the first place!The public agitation for the implementation of the subsidy probe report was getting a bit discomforting for Dr Jonah and his crew and a distraction was urgently needed.
And y'all said the brother be slow!Who the tortoise now,fooooooooooools!
I'm yet to see the said video but I'm told there's a part where he had to stuff some of the dollars in his cap because his agbada pockets could no longer hold the obscene loot!
I've always wondered why Hausa folks favoured those longs caps?

Its safe to say this dude ain't going the cashless route anytime soon.

Apparently,now we allegedly know!