No Primary or Secondary school Social Studies examination worth it's salt or any other condiment for that matter was and I hope is still complete without a question on the amalgamation of Nigeria or who the first Governor-General of Nigeria was.
And folks like myself,who knew that bad as e bad,the question was always gonna 'come out' would tick 1914 or the name Lord Lugard with great relish like renown scholars and go on racking our brains on the 20 blank answer options before and after the 'Lugard' question.
But I can tell you without any fear of contradiction or fear of being brandished a liar,that Lord Frederick Dealtry Lugard,or D-wizzle as the boys used to call him,was a really pissed of man in the spring of 1912 when word filtered to him that he was to be redeployed to West Africa and in particular to the sandy emptiness of Northern Nigeria.
At that time my friends,Fred was then serving and without a doubt putting his feet up as the 14th Governor-General of Hong Kong.
The world was his oyster and Oga Lugard planned to take it.
Infact word has it that Lugard's favourite song was indeed Oritsefemi's 'Double Wahala" and he would spend hours on the Hong Kong marina miming to it.
Must have been a good time;nice weather,servants,not so beautiful women though but Fred wasn't a looker either and I doubt if he was the picky type.
To be fair to him,he had paid his dues earlier.Previously serving as the High Commissioner of Northern Nigeria between 1900 and 1906 and in between fighting the Emir of Kano and the Sultan of Sokoto on one end and battling the exhaustive heat of the Savannah,the sand flies and the never ending diet of the hardest meat he had ever had,Oga Fred must have been happier than a well fed pig in Kano when he was hurled off to HongKong.
So you can very well imagine his horror when he was told he had to pack it in and head back to the then Northern Protectorate of Nigeria.
If you can't imagine his horror,then imagine Skale's mother having just finished listening to her son's entire album(what mother's have to put with it ehn!!!!!!!!!!!!) and wondering if she should risk eternity in hell and tell him how great the album was or just call a spade by its first name,sit the boy down and buy him a JAMB form before he turns 30 and jobless!
Anyway,Lord Lugard headed back,suit case in one hand and the lovely Flora Shaw on the other,to complete the one mandate given to him by the Lords back home in dreary Britain;the amalgamation of the British Empire's greatest cash cow,the Northern and Southern Protectorates of Nigeria.
Two completely different people.
In religion,character and indeed physicality.
Even Lugard himself described one party as solemn and conservative and the other as boisterous,carefree,vain,lacking little sense of veracity and in his words like a spoilt favourite child.
But this was a business project and no amount of diversity would derail it.
It wasn't about the locals convenience.
It was about bringing development and to provide resources and cheap labour to resource poor Britain.
It wasn't easy but Fred,just like he did when toasting his wife Flora Shaw, got the job done.
And the fact that he had to even wait till1918 as Governor-General of the newly unified colony grated him everyday.
Infact it is on record that on the day he was to leave the country finally,Fred had started off on his own,swimming down the Atlantic Ocean in a frantic battle between man and wave to get back to Britain.
Indeed,he was said to have jumped in around the Mansard head office end of the Bar Beach just before where Kuramo dey before(for those more familiar with the Kuramo description*wink wink*) and the ship was said to have caught up with him somewhere betweeen Badagry and Cotonou..
Okay it's not on record but neither is our missing 20 billion dollars!
We may look on with disgust at the ridiculous expense incurred during the centenary celebrations in Abuja and wonder what on earth we were celebrating.
Like those annoying folks who throw lavish parties for 28th,47th or 52nd birthdays.
We may wonder if the French president.Francois Hollande,did not have anything better planned for his Thursday night than to wine and dine in a country that had just lost about 50 young souls to murderers.
We may wonder and like Sammie Okposo,we may never know
Anyhoo,we have since tried to make the best of our forced union.
The colony has indeed transformed to a country.
We have had our ups and downs.
We have indeed had development.
We have had regressions.
We have infact had a war.
We have gained international acclaim for literature,sport,science and art.
We have also gained international disdain for fraud,bombings and kidnapping.
We have had it all but yet we still dey like an uninspiring but never really bad Tuface song.
And even when we nod and agree with many things Idris Abdulkarim sang on his hit record 'Jaga Jaga',we still wake up at 2a.m to watch the Super Eagles play.
We hate this country and we love this country.
The last 100 years have belonged to looters,foreign and domestic.
The next 100 years should belong to us!
P.S:pls follow on the twitter machine @doctorrotcod
And folks like myself,who knew that bad as e bad,the question was always gonna 'come out' would tick 1914 or the name Lord Lugard with great relish like renown scholars and go on racking our brains on the 20 blank answer options before and after the 'Lugard' question.
But I can tell you without any fear of contradiction or fear of being brandished a liar,that Lord Frederick Dealtry Lugard,or D-wizzle as the boys used to call him,was a really pissed of man in the spring of 1912 when word filtered to him that he was to be redeployed to West Africa and in particular to the sandy emptiness of Northern Nigeria.
At that time my friends,Fred was then serving and without a doubt putting his feet up as the 14th Governor-General of Hong Kong.
The world was his oyster and Oga Lugard planned to take it.
Infact word has it that Lugard's favourite song was indeed Oritsefemi's 'Double Wahala" and he would spend hours on the Hong Kong marina miming to it.
 |
| You dey jeje dey hate me as I am chopping my money.From London to Malaysia............................................... |
Must have been a good time;nice weather,servants,not so beautiful women though but Fred wasn't a looker either and I doubt if he was the picky type.
To be fair to him,he had paid his dues earlier.Previously serving as the High Commissioner of Northern Nigeria between 1900 and 1906 and in between fighting the Emir of Kano and the Sultan of Sokoto on one end and battling the exhaustive heat of the Savannah,the sand flies and the never ending diet of the hardest meat he had ever had,Oga Fred must have been happier than a well fed pig in Kano when he was hurled off to HongKong.
So you can very well imagine his horror when he was told he had to pack it in and head back to the then Northern Protectorate of Nigeria.
If you can't imagine his horror,then imagine Skale's mother having just finished listening to her son's entire album(what mother's have to put with it ehn!!!!!!!!!!!!) and wondering if she should risk eternity in hell and tell him how great the album was or just call a spade by its first name,sit the boy down and buy him a JAMB form before he turns 30 and jobless!
 |
| Tell them jor!God that gave Dr Sid a hit song will surely do your own too. |
Anyway,Lord Lugard headed back,suit case in one hand and the lovely Flora Shaw on the other,to complete the one mandate given to him by the Lords back home in dreary Britain;the amalgamation of the British Empire's greatest cash cow,the Northern and Southern Protectorates of Nigeria.
Two completely different people.
In religion,character and indeed physicality.
Even Lugard himself described one party as solemn and conservative and the other as boisterous,carefree,vain,lacking little sense of veracity and in his words like a spoilt favourite child.
But this was a business project and no amount of diversity would derail it.
It wasn't about the locals convenience.
It was about bringing development and to provide resources and cheap labour to resource poor Britain.
It wasn't easy but Fred,just like he did when toasting his wife Flora Shaw, got the job done.
And the fact that he had to even wait till1918 as Governor-General of the newly unified colony grated him everyday.
Infact it is on record that on the day he was to leave the country finally,Fred had started off on his own,swimming down the Atlantic Ocean in a frantic battle between man and wave to get back to Britain.
Indeed,he was said to have jumped in around the Mansard head office end of the Bar Beach just before where Kuramo dey before(for those more familiar with the Kuramo description*wink wink*) and the ship was said to have caught up with him somewhere betweeen Badagry and Cotonou..
Okay it's not on record but neither is our missing 20 billion dollars!
We may look on with disgust at the ridiculous expense incurred during the centenary celebrations in Abuja and wonder what on earth we were celebrating.
Like those annoying folks who throw lavish parties for 28th,47th or 52nd birthdays.
We may wonder if the French president.Francois Hollande,did not have anything better planned for his Thursday night than to wine and dine in a country that had just lost about 50 young souls to murderers.
We may wonder and like Sammie Okposo,we may never know
Anyhoo,we have since tried to make the best of our forced union.
The colony has indeed transformed to a country.
We have had our ups and downs.
We have indeed had development.
We have had regressions.
We have infact had a war.
We have gained international acclaim for literature,sport,science and art.
We have also gained international disdain for fraud,bombings and kidnapping.
We have had it all but yet we still dey like an uninspiring but never really bad Tuface song.
And even when we nod and agree with many things Idris Abdulkarim sang on his hit record 'Jaga Jaga',we still wake up at 2a.m to watch the Super Eagles play.
We hate this country and we love this country.
The last 100 years have belonged to looters,foreign and domestic.
 |
| Una do well! |
The next 100 years should belong to us!
P.S:pls follow on the twitter machine @doctorrotcod
1 comment:
Poignant, Funny and even Tear jerking... However, most are complicit in the state of the Nation, the same will cause the desired change.
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