Female suicide bombers and their equal opportunity employers!

My Great-Grandmother Olori (that's Queen of Africa,to my ignorant American readers) Beatrice must be dancing Sekem in her grave right about now.
All 200 and something pounds of her!
In her day,a woman's place was a tiny 8 by 8 square metres of prime real estate where the family's meal originated from.
And after toiling all day to feed a horde of ravenous children; and I mean feed!!!!! Not in this day of Indomie,two eggs and one Chivita; she had to then proceed to the bedroom to fulfil her other obligation to her fully fed husband and master!
And as Martin Luther King once famously said just before the start of the Second World War, a fully fed man odikwa equal to two he-goats!
They're weren't female doctors, lawyers, accountants, biochemists or engineers at the top of their game in Olori Beatrice's day.
And they sure were no female bankers dressed in skirts so mini, guys be coming into the banking halls just to 'crosscheck' if they used a black or blue pen to sign their last cheque about a month ago!

My dear, I think the 'O' in OKafor in my name was spelt as Zero, Okwa!

Regardless of how the foreign media tries to portray Nigeria as a backward nation of girl slaves,the fact remains that Nigeria has one of the highest number of high achieving,well educated women.
Women with good education,values and a sense of self worth, who can stand head to head with with any in the world.
Women who have fought hard to break barriers and put themselves in good stead to compete with anyone.
So when news broke that teenage girls were been used on a suicide bombing orgy around the streets of Kano yesterday, my heart sunk!
Sunk to depths lower than the catfish pond behind my house; no more wasting money at Mama Nkechi's joint. If Adam could cook his own dinner while Eve was frolicking with the devil,who am I not to???
Anyhoo, no suicide bomber is good; man,woman, boy, girl or donkey.
Yep!Donkeys!
Apparently the Palestinians use donkey suicide bombers.
I'll give them an A for twisted minded ingenuity.
You can't be a coffee drinking,newspaper reading dude to come up with that.

Duration and purpose of visit please?

Anyway,if the insurgents in the North-East oppose female upliftment, education and portray them as the infinitely weaker sex but see nothing wrong with using them at the forefront of their war,that's double standards as not seen since the days of paedophile priests!
I just hope and pray that some form of brainwashing and coercion involving the kidnapped girls is not at play here.
Really pray!
The wave of bombings in Kano involving teenage girls opens up a new frontier in this madness.
One that completely takes away the innocence from those we strive to protect.
We love our women in Nigeria and they typically tend not to get as thoroughly frisked or harassed at check points but in this day and age of terrorism,Sunny Nneji was right about something; 'This Ikebe fit put e you for trouble'

P.S: To all the Indomie cooking wives out there who keep 9-5 jobs, take care of the kids and still manage to stay sane,you all are the real heroes!
Pls follow the FlipSide of Life on twitter @doctorrotcod

The man who saw tomorrow;Ayo Fayose and the Rice of the PDP!

For those familiar with the machinations(Somebody get me Konga.com NOW NOW!A bottle of their finest hair gel for Pastor Kris Okotie) of this blog,you probably are used to this by now.
Me disappearing for weeks on end without writing jack squat or writing something as unsatisfactory as a Patience Jonathan W.A.E.C English essay might have been.
Might have been I say.
You never know with these things.
Its just like when stutterers sing fluently.
For all we know,little Miss Patience might have been a little Ikwerre Shakespeare.
Writing ballards and shit!

Tell them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most times its easy and convenient to blame the absence on work pressure from other sources but truth be told,half the time I just run short on ideas.
No matter how much I cajole the brain to function,it just comes back emptier than Etcetera's music awards gallery.
Etce who??????????????
As my mother would say,na so dem dey ask person!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, writing about the continous cycle of bombs,raids and deaths in Nigeria gets disheartening real quick.
And as myself and other delegates in the 'Garden of Happiness' parliament suggested earlier this week,only if we could get Tiwa Savage to go easy on the make-up.
The girl wears enough make-up to bring peace to the Middle East or at the very least,Borno State!
Any road,the elections in Ekiti state about two weeks back caught my eye.
And if my stunning looks does not give away he fact that I'm an Ekiti man,I wonder what will?
Against all expectation,Ayo Fayose,the once accused phantom poultry farmer,was once again elected governor.
I had the opportunity of watching Mr Fayose storm to the Ekiti State Government house in the early years of democracy till he ran 'fowl' of the law and was deposed.
His method was simple.
While his opponents serenaded the crowd with promises of high sped rail,Wi-fi coverage and flying cars,he simply did the needful.
He identified a need and filled it.
At the time,Ekiti State was suffering a water supply shortage that would have made the Israelite wilderness travails seem like a day in the life of Davido!
He simply hired water tankers and supplied towns and villages with water free to villagers who had been left to trekking to streams for their supplies like a bunch of confused young girls in a Nollywood movie.
By the way, a word for those girls.
If by now you do not know that the village rapist usually chills by the foot path to the stream then you probably don't know shit!
So Mr Fayose went from hamlet to village to town distributing water.
And as absurd as this may sound,somewhere at the back of the mind of the voters they probably felt that if he could distribute water as a candidate,as Governor,they would surely have water flowing into their homes and maybe even one of those Japanese toilets that supposedly splash some water on your behind once you done.
We all know what happened after he got into office don't we?
Its all water under the proverbial bridge now though.
So,when pictures  of the PDP distributing mini-bags of rice to the people surfaced  on the Internet just before this round of elections,it was obvious he was simply trying a tried and tested pattern.
I mean,if something worked for you in the past,why change it?
Except if you're Cabo-Snoop of course.

Those skinny jean only take you so far bro!

Any change,Fayose seemed to have identified the crippling poverty and hunger facing the people.
Not just in Ekiti but across the length and breadth of this country and chose to pick on it this time around.
Contrary to what they might tell you,a hungry man is very rarely an angry man.
Confused,docile,amenable to easy manipulation and generally willing to sell his birthright more like.

At least Esau's was cooked already.This one's will still buy oil,pepper and Maggi!

Fayose had and still has no plans for Ekiti development but he won  in a landslide.
And that hurts.
For a state once revered for having more professors than all the high school graduates put together in Sokoto State..................................Sorry...............Hold on one second...................Mr Commissioner for Education Sokoto on the line?.............Hello.............Those are 1962 figures you say?..................Ehen?
Seriously though,the opposition needs to know that beyond development and infrastructure,politics of the belly is also vital.
You need to satisfy peoples short term needs to have them believing in your long term goals.
No amount of flower planting can placate a hungry man.
Except their edible flowers though.
There's another election coming up in Osun State and Iyiola Omisore the PDP candidate in between mouthfuls of corn seems to be borrowing a leaf from the Fayose Ekiti playbook

Only in the Third World would this men be contesting for public position.

If Asiwaju Tinubu and the APC do not want to lose their stranglehold on the SouthWest,I can only urge them to in the immortal words of Lax ft Wizkid...........
Ginger oh...................
Ginger................
Ginger oh.................
Ginger.............

P.S: the flipside of life is on the twitter machine @doctorrotcod